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我的孩子教会我的十个真理 10 truths my children taught me

更新时间:2012-10-11    来源/发布:www.en369.cn    作者/编辑:英语作文网


SIX
Fear

My son suffers from nightmares, just as I did as a child. I hate to see him so traumatised by images I can’t control. As I hold his shaking body, and soothe him with words, I feel him slowly relax and sink against me like a bag of sand. In the morning he wakes as though nothing has disturbed his night. It comforts me to witness that even though fear, like a bad dream, grabs us when we’re at our most vulnerable, all demons fade in the morning light.

SEVEN
Unconditional love

Despite choosing how they dress, where they’re schooled and what time they go to bed, we err in thinking our children “belong” to us. One day, they push back. They say “no!” and “you’re not the boss of me!” They lie to us; they keep secrets from us. They do not like the jumpers we choose for them – and they don’t care if they were on sale at Kmart. Poet-philosopher Kahlil Gibran reminds us to give children “your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own”. In parenting, we birth both familiarity and strangeness. Our task is to love it all, without judgement or condition. Our children have their own paths to forge.

EIGHT
Tolerance

It’s astonishing just how many terrible decisions you can make as a parent and scare your children through ignorance, blind spots or, worst of all, best intentions. We miss the cues, we expose our children to danger, we misjudge. My parenting mistakes have given me countless opportunities to apologise, forgive myself and accept my own imperfections. Our children can (and will) blame us for everything that doesn’t work out in their lives. We pass the torch of tolerance on to them when we give them a chance to forgive us for our mistakes.

NINE
Faith

My husband once felt the need to remind me that it’s called “Mothering”, not “Smothering”. But having a child, I’ve heard it said, is like having your heart walk outside of your body for the rest of your life. Once we bring a child into the universe, we can choose to either become neurotically overprotective, or we can trust the universe (a horribly indifferent place) with what is most precious to us. Having a child is not for sissies. Loving someone more than ourselves, yet being powerless to protect them from all hurt, is either a foolishness or a quantum leap of faith. I now wear a necklace with my children’s names, as well as the word FAITH, around my neck.

TEN
Surrendering to the mystery

Parenting books make it seem as though there are simple answers – how to get your kids to sleep, eat and behave. I’ve read too many of those books. I understand the biology of conception, but remain baffled by the mystery of creating another person. Parenting has taught me that this sacred connection between parent and child is as unknowable as it is scientific. It is a mystery that creates joint history and bonds of kinship that unite us beyond this lifetime. It’s a useful insight to invoke just at that point when the whining feels like it’s driving me to an early glass of wine.

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